AI Can’t Replace the Thing That Actually Helps Women Get Sober
Healing Isn’t Automated
The age of AI is in full swing and there’s no turning back. AI has infiltrated nearly every aspect of our personal and professional lives—from social media and search engines to planning family vacations, sourcing recipes, enhancing productivity, and automating workplace tasks.
On a more personal note, people are increasingly turning to AI for health advice, therapy, and mental health support. In times of struggling economies and inadequate mental health care, AI can be tempting. It’s low-cost or free, available 24/7, and private. When life throws a curveball, opening an app is often easier than scheduling a therapist appointment—which may be weeks away. AI is instant, and in a culture of 15-second TikTok attention spans, waiting isn’t appealing.
Experts recommend using AI as a tool rather than a primary support option. Chatbots like Gemini or ChatGPT aren’t trained therapists, but it’s easy to blur the lines when they provide seemingly helpful, empathetic, and validating responses.
While we don’t yet have data on AI use specifically for sobriety, women and gender-diverse folks are relying more heavily on chatbots for mental and emotional support. It’s reasonable to infer that some use relates to alcohol, other substances, or quitting drinking.
I completely understand why women turn to AI. Shortages of professional care and financial barriers make accessing support difficult. That said, AI also falls short: reproducing gender biases, providing unsafe or inaccurate responses, and minimizing women’s concerns. Unlike healthcare, AI isn’t regulated for ethics, safety, or accountability.
When support is scarce, people reach for whatever is available.
I’m not anti-tech. AI has its place—as a tool, not a substitute for human support. Women already use podcasts, books, social media, and workbooks for help. AI can provide reflective prompts, tips, or mocktail ideas. But tools alone don’t make change happen. Quitting drinking is overwhelming and loaded with shame, fear, and frustration. It requires deep work, connection, and community—far more than a chatbot can provide.
As someone who has gotten sober alone and (for 6+ years) had the pleasure and privilege of guiding coaching clients through their journey of sobriety, I can say with certainty that the human connection aspects are not only powerful and underrated but can’t, in any way, be replaced or replicated by a machine. Nor should they be. Because nothing can replace the feeling that comes with sharing a deeply shameful moment with another woman who is nodding along, making eye contact and saying “me too.” Human connection, compassion and empathy cannot be cloned through AI.
With so much AI-generated content, advice, and automation circulating, misinformation is everywhere, which only deepens mistrust. Human-created, human-centered support matters more than ever—it’s thoughtful, accountable, and attuned to real lived experience, not just patterns in data.
What moves the needle in sobriety is connection, community, and relationships. Being part of a group of women asking similar questions and building alcohol-free lives is profoundly helpful. Recovery is relational: being witnessed, reflected back, and supported. Accountability, care, and guidance matter—because someone on the other side genuinely wants you to succeed.
AI models fall short when it comes to support. AI can’t detect shifts in tone or subtle nuances in conversation. AI isn’t going to notice if you’ve disappeared and reach out to see if you’re okay or encourage you to reflect on what’s going well and celebrate your milestones with you. AI can generate language about care; it cannot actually provide care.
Even the best AI can’t provide the care we need—but connection can. For women wanting consistent, compassionate support while building sober lives, I created The Well Circle, which offers weekly gatherings, a private chat, and resources designed to help you feel seen, supported, and in community. Healing doesn’t have to - and shouldn’t - be a solo project.
Circling back to how this essay started, it makes sense in the current climate and system to turn to AI for support and if you’re doing that, this isn’t because you’re failing or navigating things wrong. In truth, our systems and structures are failing us. Healthcare systems are complex to navigate while simultaneously overburdened. Community spaces are disappearing. There’s an increasing expectation that people manage things themselves, with a hyperfixation on the individual over the collective and this is especially true for women. Turning to AI isn’t a personal failure. It’s a predictable response to systemic abandonment.
We don’t need to figure everything out alone. Change doesn’t happen through apps, algorithms, or advice alone—it happens in communities, in relationships, and in spaces where honesty is safe. AI can be a helpful tool, but it can never replace the human connection that makes recovery possible. Women deserve support that looks them in the eye and says: “I see you. You’re not alone. You can do this.”